Story of My Student - N -

Just call her N. She is one of my private student. She is on grade 8 now, in an international school in Jakarta. Yesterday should be the last day i teach her. But, unfortunately (or fortunately) i still have to teach her this semester.

I actually don't know how to teach her. Well, she is kind (i don't know how to explain her kindness), a bataknese too (same as me), rich (of course), and don't want to learn math. She always scream to her maid when she wants something, throws everything (including her Mac, iPhone, expensive books, and calculator), and wants a break every 15 minutes.

This is what i usually do when we have private teaching session: When i come to her house, she's still take a shower (or maybe she start take a shower when i come), and it waste 15 minutes. Her maid will give me a glass of mango juice when i'm waiting her. Then, i come to her bedroom. She will ask me if she can have 10 minutes to prepare herself. Then, she will start doing her homework, i will sit beside her and look at her homework, nodding if she does it well, talk to her if she gets wrong answer. Then, after 1 hour, she will say "It's done. Bye." or maybe just try to ask me to go home. 

Sometimes, i wonder if she hates me. I can't even tell her to study 1,5 hour. I sometimes don't understand the materials quickly and need time to understand it. I'm not from mathematics faculty, as her parents wish. So, i decided to tell my boss that i can't teach her anymore, i want her to have a better teacher who knows math very well and can fulfill her parents' expectation.

Yesterday, she told me that she gets B- on her test. For me and her, it is a good result, because she usually get C and she thinks this time she will get C again. She said to me that her friends who got B- too were very disappointed, but i said to her 'just don't listen to them'.

Then, in the end of lesson, i told her that next week she will be taught by another teacher from mathematics faculty. And you wanna know her reaction? She was so disappointed. When i said that it's her mother's choice to have a teacher from mathematics faculty, she said "but you're as good as them" and "I'll talk to my mom about it". 

So, i actually glad to hear that she likes me. Deep inside my heart, i worry if another teacher will treat her bad as the teachers before me. I worry if the new teacher can't listen to her, don't know what she needs. So that's why, i decided to keep teaching her. I hope the theories that i learned in psychology can help me to do my job.

But i'm worried about my psychological happiness for this semester..

Wonder : Don't Judge A Boy by His Face

One of the book that i read this holiday is "Wonder", written by R. J. Palacio in 2012. 

In Indonesia, this book is published by Atria Publisher. 

http://floriayasmin.blogspot.com/2013/01/wonder.html

Before i tell you about this book, i want you to search "Mandibulofacial Dysostosis" on google. Try to look at the pictures of people who have this abnormality. Yes, this book is about one of them, a child named August Pullman who has "Mandibulofacial Disostosis" and his life. 

He knows he's different. He knows that his face is so ugly so everyone will stare at him twice when they meet him for the first time. He knows that everyone see him and feels sorry to him, or, even worse, mock him. But, he's just keep quiet, pretend that he doesn't hear that, pretend that nothing is different. Only in his house he feels secure. He really loves halloween, because, in halloween, he can just go everywhere without being stared by people. 

But, now, after he feels secure with his house, his family, and his homeschooling, he must face the real world, public school, on grade 5. He must deal with all entire school stare at him everyday, pretend that he can bring disease if somebody touch his body, and being mocked & ignored by his friends. 

This book tells us about his struggle with his new school life by his point of view, how he face the real world. Before he go to public school, his family and friends (which you can count with your fingers) always treat him special, tell him that he is special and love him. But, he must face the real world, the society that still think he's  ugly, he's different, and can't accept him easily. 

But, not only that, in this book, we can also know the caregivers' point of view, his sister and his bestfriends, and even, the caregivers' significant others (his sister's boyfriend, his sister's friend) which i think is the plus point of this book. We can know that August's life also affect their life, especially their social life. 

From this book, i learn aboout their struggle (August and another kids who have this disease) to face the society. They can't do it alone, there must be supports for them, from family, friends, school teacher, and others. They know that society won't accept them easily. Some of them just give up with their life, don't want to face the society. Some of their caregivers just don't want them to be hurt by the society, keep them in the safe place, and make them rely on their caregivers for the rest of their life. But, the best thing to do is, let them know the society when they ready, so they know that,  "..many bad people out there, but the good people are more. (August's mother, 2012)." 

R. J. Palacio wrote this book for the children, as cited from his website, 

" I hope that kids will come away with the idea that they are noticed: their actions are noted. Maybe not immediately or directly or even in a way that seems obvious, but if they’re mean, someone suffers. If they’re kind, someone benefits. And the choice is theirs: whether to be noticed for being kind or for being mean. They get to choose who they want to be in this world.  And it’s not their friends and not their parents who make those choices: it’s them."

Just a little talk about your friend behind his/her back can bring your friend to become your enemy

Just a little smile and hello to make a lonely person feels accepted

Just a little stare at someone to make him down

Just a little kindness in every act to make the world a better place

Last, this is one of August's quotes which i love the most:

Everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world. - Auggie” (Palacio, 2012)

You can visit her website : rjpalacio.com for the story behind the book, other faqs, and guide for teachers :)

The Difference Between Just Friends and Bestfriends

Selama ini sebenernya gue selalu bertanya, apa sih bedanya temen biasa sama sahabat?
Gue awalnya kira, sahabat itu adalah temen yang deket banget sama kita, kemana2 bareng, tau rahasia2 yang umumnya ga diketahuin temen2 lain, dan yang terutama, it will last forever.

But, wait a sec..

Pengalaman gue di SMP nampaknya ga demikian, terutama buat yang terakhir. Gue pernah punya sahabat yang beneran sehati banget waktu SMP. Ntah berapa lah sahabat gue waktu itu. Saking sehatinya, waktu dulu pernah, pas gue nyanyiin satu lagu di dalam hati, eh 'sahabat' gue ngelanjutin lagu itu (nyanyi beneran) pas di timing gue berhenti nyanyiin di dalem hati. Gila ga tuh hebat banget (padahal cuma coincidence mungkin :P)

Tapi sayangnya, setelah masuk SMA, apalagi pas udah masuk kuliah, sikap mereka jadi beda ke gue. Ato mungkin gue juga jadi ikutan berbeda ya? Mereka jadi kaya orang yang gue ga kenal, atau cuma sekedar jadi temen di facebook. Buat nyapa aja awkward banget, padahal nyapa di facebook loh.

Dan hal itu biasanya terjadi pada 'sahabat' cewe. Gue lebih ga awkward sama sahabat (ato mantan sahabat?) cowo dibanding cewe. Ntah kenapa sih, mungkin perasaan gue aja, tp gue sendiri bingung apakah cuma gue yang nganggep mereka sahabat sementara mereka nganggep gue temen biasa?

Yang jelas, selesai SMP, gue ga mau lagi ke-Geer-an bilang orang lain sahabat gue.

Di SMA, gue mengenal istilah lain yang menggantikan sahabat, yaitu keluarga. ANTS (persekutuan kristen di sekolah), adalah keluarga gue. Term "keluarga" jauh lebih bisa gue mengerti dibanding sahabat. Temen2 SMA gue yang sampai sekarang masih catch up sama gue, mereka juga keluarga SMA gue. Temen2 dari kecil, mereka keluarga gue.

Pas kuliah, term "sahabat" ini kembali muncul. Terutama di persekutuan PO dan grup KAUP gue. Entah gue ke-Geer-an, atau salah denger, but they called me with that term. Sejujurnya, gue masih belom mengerti apa yang mereka maksud dengan "sahabat". Apa itu artinya : kita cuma deket pas kuliah, udah selesei kuliah ya liat aja nanti, ato apa? Apa ada syarat yang harus dipenuhi buat jadi "sahabat"? Apa gue, secara ga sadar, udah memenuhi syarat untuk menjadi "sahabat" mereka?

I prefer called them family, keluarga KAUP, keluarga Psiko, karena menurut gue, yang namanya keluarga tetaplah keluarga, mau cerai, mau pisah2, mau lupa, ya tetep aja keluarga. It will last forever. And i hope our relationship will last forever too, sampai kerja, punya keluarga sendiri, bahkan sampai kakek-nenek kalau perlu. Gue ga mau lagi punya "sahabat" yang hanya dekat pas satu sekolah/kampus aja :)

So, till i know the true definition of "best friends", i prefer call them "family"  ..