Jumat, 08 Februari 2013

Memberi Bukan Menerima




Setiap umat beragama biasanya memiliki hari raya yang paling mereka nantikan. Sebagian umat Muslim menantikan datangnya hari Lebaran, sedangkan umat Kristen menantikan hari Natal, begitu pula dengan agama lain dengan hari rayanya masing-masing. Seorang teman saya di asrama yang menganut agama Islam sangat menantikan datangnya hari Lebaran. Ia sudah merencanakan apa yang akan ia nikmati di hari Lebaran, bahkan dua bulan sebelum Lebaran! Demikian pula seorang teman saya yang Kristen. Ia sangat menantikan datangnya Natal sehingga ia sudah mempersiapkan rencana untuk Natal bahkan sebelum Desember tiba. Tahukah alasan mengapa banyak orang begitu bersemangat mempersiapkan hari raya yang mereka nantikan?
            “...karena pada hari itu aku akan mendapat hadiah bla, bla, bla...”
            “...karena pada hari itu aku akan berkumpul dengan keluargaku dan menikmati makanan yang sangat enak...”
            “...karena pada hari itu aku akan mendapat berkat yang melimpah..”
            Ya, hal itu yang sering saya dengar dari mulut setiap orang yang beragama. Hal yang dapat saya simpulkan adalah, banyak dari kita yang sangat menantikan suatu hari raya tertentu karena pada hari itu kita berharap akan menerima sesuatu, baik materi, berkat, ketenangan, maupun pemuasan keinginan lainnya.
            Awalnya saya juga berpikir demikian. Saya adalah seorang Kristen dan saya sangat menantikan Natal. Seperti umat Kristen pada umumnya, saya berharap di hari Natal saya bisa mendapatkan berkat Tuhan yang lebih istimewa, hadiah yang indah, ucapan salam dari teman dan saudara, serta kehangatan saat berkumpul bersama keluarga. Namun, hal tersebut berubah ketika saya merayakan Natal dengan anak-anak dari sekolah untuk masyarakat tidak mampu.
            Hari ini saya menghabiskan waktu dengan merayakan Natal bersama teman-teman dari KDM Cibubur, sebuah sekolah untuk masyarakat yang kurang mampu secara ekonomi. Kami merayakan Natal dengan mengajak teman-teman di sana bermain bersama tanpa membawa nama agama, karena tidak semua anak di sana adalah umat Kristen. Kami hanya bermain permainan sederhana berupa uji konsentrasi dan menahan tawa. Namun, saat kami mengajak mereka bermain dan mengobrol, saya melihat suatu ketertarikan dan kegembiraan yang terpancar dalam diri mereka, seakan-akan semua itu jarang sekali mereka dapatkan.  Saat kami membagikan kue-kue kecil kepada mereka, terlihat mereka makan dengan lahapnya sambil bertanya nama kue yang mereka makan (saat itu kami membagikan risoles isi sosis mayones dan kue pai). Keceriaan pada wajah mereka semakin terlihat saat kami membagikan sebuah kado kecil kepada masing-masing anak. Kado yang kami berikan hanya kotak pensil dan beberapa alat tulis, namun mereka menganggap kado itu sangat istimewa.
            Perayaan Natal di KDM sukses mengubah pola pikir saya tentang hari raya. Saya yang awalnya memikirkan tentang apa yang akan saya dapatkan ketika Natal berubah menjadi apa yang dapat saya berikan ketika Natal. Saat bermain dengan anak-anak di KDM, saya merasa ingin memberikan apa yang dapat saya berikan, baik itu jatah kue saya, perhatian, senyum, atau tawa. Ya, ada suatu gejolak dalam hati saya yang mendorong saya untuk memberikan apa yang saya miliki untuk membuat mereka tersenyum, sekalipun hal itu merugikan diri saya sendiri. Ternyata, sekalipun ‘memberi’ terkesan merugikan diri sendiri, rasa damai yang didapat jauh lebih besar dibanding kerugian material maupun fisik yang kita rasakan.
Pelajaran paling berharga yang saya dapatkan adalah, baik Natal maupun hari raya lainnya, seharusnya dimaknai dengan ‘memberi’, bukan ‘menerima’. Jangan sampai orientasi kita saat merayakan hari raya kita adalah ‘apa yang akan kita terima’, melainkan ubahlah menjadi ‘apa yang dapat kita beri’. Pemberian kita tidak perlu selalu berbentuk materi, kita dapat memberikan rasa syukur dan penghormatan kita pada Tuhan, perhatian pada orang-orang di sekitar kita, bantuan tenaga, senyum, salam, dan sebagainya. Percayalah, saat kita tidak mementingkan diri kita sendiri, Tuhanlah yang akan mencukupkan segala kebutuhan kita, bahkan membuatnya berlimpah. Selamat memberi!

Esai mata kuliah Logika dan Penulisan Ilmiah
Desember 2010

Story of My Student - N -

Just call her N. She is one of my private student. She is on grade 8 now, in an international school in Jakarta. Yesterday should be the last day i teach her. But, unfortunately (or fortunately) i still have to teach her this semester.

I actually don't know how to teach her. Well, she is kind (i don't know how to explain her kindness), a bataknese too (same as me), rich (of course), and don't want to learn math. She always scream to her maid when she wants something, throws everything (including her Mac, iPhone, expensive books, and calculator), and wants a break every 15 minutes.

This is what i usually do when we have private teaching session: When i come to her house, she's still take a shower (or maybe she start take a shower when i come), and it waste 15 minutes. Her maid will give me a glass of mango juice when i'm waiting her. Then, i come to her bedroom. She will ask me if she can have 10 minutes to prepare herself. Then, she will start doing her homework, i will sit beside her and look at her homework, nodding if she does it well, talk to her if she gets wrong answer. Then, after 1 hour, she will say "It's done. Bye." or maybe just try to ask me to go home. 

Sometimes, i wonder if she hates me. I can't even tell her to study 1,5 hour. I sometimes don't understand the materials quickly and need time to understand it. I'm not from mathematics faculty, as her parents wish. So, i decided to tell my boss that i can't teach her anymore, i want her to have a better teacher who knows math very well and can fulfill her parents' expectation.

Yesterday, she told me that she gets B- on her test. For me and her, it is a good result, because she usually get C and she thinks this time she will get C again. She said to me that her friends who got B- too were very disappointed, but i said to her 'just don't listen to them'.
Then, in the end of lesson, i told her that next week she will be taught by another teacher from mathematics faculty. And you wanna know her reaction? She was so disappointed. When i said that it's her mother's choice to have a teacher from mathematics faculty, she said "but you're as good as them" and "I'll talk to my mom about it". 

So, i actually glad to hear that she likes me. Deep inside my heart, i worry if another teacher will treat her bad as the teachers before me. I worry if the new teacher can't listen to her, don't know what she needs. So that's why, i decided to keep teaching her. I hope the theories that i learned in psychology can help me to do my job.

But i'm worried about my psychological happiness for this semester..

Wonder : Don't Judge A Boy by His Face

One of the book that i read this holiday is "Wonder", written by R. J. Palacio in 2012. 
In Indonesia, this book is published by Atria Publisher. 

http://floriayasmin.blogspot.com/2013/01/wonder.html


Before i tell you about this book, i want you to search "Mandibulofacial Dysostosis" on google. Try to look at the pictures of people who have this abnormality. Yes, this book is about one of them, a child named August Pullman who has "Mandibulofacial Disostosis" and his life. 

He knows he's different. He knows that his face is so ugly so everyone will stare at him twice when they meet him for the first time. He knows that everyone see him and feels sorry to him, or, even worse, mock him. But, he's just keep quiet, pretend that he doesn't hear that, pretend that nothing is different. Only in his house he feels secure. He really loves halloween, because, in halloween, he can just go everywhere without being stared by people. 

But, now, after he feels secure with his house, his family, and his homeschooling, he must face the real world, public school, on grade 5. He must deal with all entire school stare at him everyday, pretend that he can bring disease if somebody touch his body, and being mocked & ignored by his friends. 

This book tells us about his struggle with his new school life by his point of view, how he face the real world. Before he go to public school, his family and friends (which you can count with your fingers) always treat him special, tell him that he is special and love him. But, he must face the real world, the society that still think he's  ugly, he's different, and can't accept him easily. 

But, not only that, in this book, we can also know the caregivers' point of view, his sister and his bestfriends, and even, the caregivers' significant others (his sister's boyfriend, his sister's friend) which i think is the plus point of this book. We can know that August's life also affect their life, especially their social life. 

From this book, i learn aboout their struggle (August and another kids who have this disease) to face the society. They can't do it alone, there must be supports for them, from family, friends, school teacher, and others. They know that society won't accept them easily. Some of them just give up with their life, don't want to face the society. Some of their caregivers just don't want them to be hurt by the society, keep them in the safe place, and make them rely on their caregivers for the rest of their life. But, the best thing to do is, let them know the society when they ready, so they know that,  "..many bad people out there, but the good people are more. (August's mother, 2012).

R. J. Palacio wrote this book for the children, as cited from his website, 
" I hope that kids will come away with the idea that they are noticed: their actions are noted. Maybe not immediately or directly or even in a way that seems obvious, but if they’re mean, someone suffers. If they’re kind, someone benefits. And the choice is theirs: whether to be noticed for being kind or for being mean. They get to choose who they want to be in this world.  And it’s not their friends and not their parents who make those choices: it’s them."

Just a little talk about your friend behind his/her back can bring your friend to become your enemy
Just a little smile and hello to make a lonely person feels accepted
Just a little stare at someone to make him down
Just a little kindness in every act to make the world a better place


Last, this is one of August's quotes which i love the most:

Everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world. - Auggie” (Palacio, 2012)

You can visit her website : rjpalacio.com for the story behind the book, other faqs, and guide for teachers :)